tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
