i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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