I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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