There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
