I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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