Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
