Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
