people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
