I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
