I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
