So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
