i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I see more hoeing in ur future
We smell like vodka and hangover
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
