Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
