Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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