Umm I'm too high to move.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize