so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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