Dual....:-)
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
