Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize