areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
