he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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