Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
