Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
