I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
