So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we should paint friendship bongs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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