did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
