She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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