I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
