i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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