My hair reeks of homosexuality.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
