i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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