A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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