Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
