SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize