You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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