i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
