Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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