i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize