if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
