I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When are your genitals available?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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