3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
