ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
A+ Viking dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
