i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
