To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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