their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize