At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she told me i tasted like america
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
There's even glitter on my cock...
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