Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
