North Korea, Best Korea!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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