I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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