I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
