so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
