Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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