it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
