that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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