I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
