We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
