If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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