Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
