dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
