There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
