i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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