That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
