is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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