I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize