direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
