youre lurking in front of me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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