I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
