That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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