Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
