We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
