my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
