I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You ate ashes out of my bong
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
