Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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